Magical Girl Augustine Sycamore
by starlightsonata495
Summary: Team Flare has been threatening the Kalos region for long enough! Magical Girl Augustine Sycamore is here to save the day! (Lysandre/Sycamore)


Based off a fabulous picture by ishimushroom on tumblr. Crack, not meant to be taken seriously at all.

Lysandre's plan had been running smoothly. Or perhaps not as smoothly as he'd hoped, considering those brats had somehow managed to invade his secret base under Geosenge, but no matter. The ultimate weapon was ready to fire, and nothing they could do would stop him now. He was in the middle of giving an impassioned speech when out of nowhere, he heard a voice.

"TEAM FLARE!" the somehow…familiar voice yelled. "The time has come to pay for your crimes!"

Everyone looked about in confusion for the source of the mysterious voice. Suddenly, three figures burst into the room. It was none other than Augustine Sycamore, flanked by his Garchomp and a Sylveon.

Lysandre was not surprised to see the professor here. He'd been expecting him, in fact. He did wonder, though, what Augustine hoped to accomplish. Did he really think he could change Lysandre's mind? Would he try to reason with him? Beg him to stop? Attempt to use force?

Augustine, in fact, did none of these things. Instead, he stood in the middle of the room and struck a dramatic pose, jabbing a finger towards Lysandre.

"Lysandre!" he cried as everyone looked on in bewilderment. "I hereby offer you one chance to surrender! Or else we will be forced to take down you and your team, in the name of truth and justice!"

Truth? Justice? What was the man blabbering on about? "I will not," he replied, face impassive. Had Augustine really expected any other response?

"Then you leave me no choice," said Augustine, holding some sort of staff aloft. "I believe in the power of a magical girl! Mega transformation sequence, go!"

As soon as he said those words, pink beams of light began to emit from the stone at the tip of the staff. _Another_ mega stone? The Garchomp became enveloped in pink light, beginning its evolution into its mega form. Curiously, Augustine had also become surrounded by pink light, sparkles coming off his glowing form in waves, but before he could move or speak to question this a white, blinding light filled the room, causing him to cover his eyes reflexively. The Sylveon must have used Dazzling Gleam as a stalling tactic.

When the light faded, Lysandre saw a Mega Garchomp before him, as expected. What he didn't expect to see, however, was Augustine dressed in…whatever that—that _getup_ he was wearing was. It had hearts, and ribbons, and bows, and…dear Arceus, were those _thigh-high stockings? _Were those _short-shorts?_

"What—" he sputtered, but before he could continue he was cut off by none other than the Sylveon.

"SILENCE, MORTAL," it boomed, somehow managing to be intimidating despite being a pink, ribbon-y fairy.

"What—"

"DO YOU REPENT FOR YOUR CRIMES, FILTHY HUMANS?" the Sylveon continued as if he hadn't spoken. 'Brats' and Team Flare members alike stood dumbfounded.

"No, I do _not,_" he hissed. He would not abandon his dream of a beautiful world just because of some (creepy) talking Sylveon and Augustine dressing up in some ridiculous (strangely enticing) outfit. It just. Wasn't. Going to happen.

"SO BE IT. YOU LEAVE US WITH NO CHOICE. AUGUSTINE! MISS GOBBLE!"

"On it, Sylvey!" said Augustine, giving the Sylveon a thumb-up as the Garchomp—Miss…Gobble?—roared in apparent agreement.

"Do you really think you can stop me, Augustine?" said Lysandre, unwilling to admit how nonplussed he was by this entire situation.

"Lysandre!" Augustine cried, pointing the mega stone staff at him. "By the power of a magical girl gifted to me by Sylvey, the all-powerful—"

"Augustine," he interrupted, restraint snapping, "_What the hell is going on? _Also, you're not even a girl—"

"ANYONE CAN BECOME A MAGICAL GIRL IF THEY JUST BELIEVE, FOOLISH MORTAL."

"—I hereby declare you to be my familiar!" Augustine continued as if he hadn't been interrupted.

"THE CONTRACT HAS BEEN INITIATED," the Sylveon—Sylvey?—said, eyes glowing ominously.

_Contract? What kind of contract did they think would help them now?_ Lysandre thought, but before he could react Augustine was in front of him (how? How had he moved so quickly?), standing far too close and smelling faintly of roses.

"_Pactio,"_ Augustine whispered, smiling up at him mischievously, and before he had time to fully register the glowing, arcane-looking circle that had appeared on the floor beneath them, Augustine had grabbed him by the collar and was dipping him down into a kiss.

What.

The.

_Hell?_

Warm, soft lips were pressed against his own as delicately as the brush of a butterfly's wings. Lysandre tried to struggle, but Augustine pulled him in even closer with surprising strength and suddenly there was Augustine's _tongue_ in his mouth, hot and wet and entirely too distracting to be fair. The runes beneath them began to glow even brighter, surrounding them with beams of sparkling light, and the angry protest he had been intending to make ended up as a strangled whimper as Augustine's tongue invaded his mouth, the scent of roses surrounding him and the taste of strawberries exploding on his tongue. It felt like he was drowning in that smell, in that _taste,_ and maybe it was some sort of drug because his mind felt hazy and his limbs felt like they were made of lead, leaving him unable to do anything but let himself be kissed.

"Contract complete," Augustine said breathlessly as they finally broke apart, smiling coyly at him in a way that had to have been illegal.

Lysandre, for his part, had no idea what to do after _that_, other than stand there attempting to control his breathing and trying to ignore the pounding of his heart.

"THE CONTRACT HAS BEEN SEALED," Sylvey boomed, making Lysandre jump. He'd forgotten about all the other people…and Pokémon…still in the room. Careless, really.

"Professor, what is going on?!" one of the brats—Calem, was it?—sputtered.

Lysandre looked around, still in a bit of a daze. It seemed that the brats, despite their confusion, had still elected to defend Miss Gobble in defending her trainer from the Team Flare grunts and their Pokémon trying to attack while Augustine had been…sealing the contract.

"How is any of this going to stop Lysandre?" asked another—Serena, probably. Stop him from doing…what, exactly? Wasn't there something he'd been in the middle of? It was hard to think straight with the taste of strawberries still fresh on his tongue. Drug…most definitely…

"First of all, it's not 'Professor' right now, it's Magical Girl Augustine Sycamore!" Somehow, he'd managed to make the star audible. How had he done that? "Second of all, watch this!" Magical Girl Augustine Sycamore said, pointing his staff at Lysandre. Lysandre felt like he should have been at least mildly alarmed about this, as he had no idea what else Magical Girl Augustine Sycamore could do, but he couldn't seem to move a muscle. "Forgive me, Lysandre. Familiar! In the name of love, I command you! Be sealed!"

Pink (why _pink?_) beams of light began to emit from the staff once again, this time hitting him squarely in the chest and causing his own body to start glowing. He tried to call out an order for his grunts to attack, but their Pokémon had already been incapacitated anyway and so they were left standing in slack-jawed amazement as their leader was attacked by pink sparkly light (did it have to be _sparkly?_). The room began to spin, seeming to grow larger and larger before his very eyes. He tried to cry out, but the only sound that came out of his mouth was a high-pitched yowl, skin crawling and pink lights dancing before his eyes in a flashing, sparkling whirlwind.

Dimly, Lysandre began to become aware of people yelling unintelligibly around him, the commotion probably being caused by his grunts and the brats. A booming, vaguely unsettling voice—Sylvey, then—could be heard above the ruckus, saying something to Augustine, accompanied by a low growling sound—Miss Gobble, most likely. He tried to move, but his body felt all…wrong, for some reason, and before he could take a single step he found himself being scooped up (scooped up?) into a pair of arms, the scent of roses assaulting him once again as the ground fell away from his feet. Augustine was…carrying him? How? And why did everything seem so large?

"Boss!"

"You're…you're a—"

"Litleo?!" the pink-clad brat exclaimed, pointing directly at him.

"Li?" he said, before thinking, _That's not what I wanted to say. Why did I say that? And why is everyone staring at me like that?_ He looked down at himself, but instead of seeing his normal, _human_ body as expected, he saw a small, feline body covered in dark brown fur, with creamy-coloured paws where his hands and feet should have been. His mane (_mane?_) flared up as he began to panic, but then Augustine started scratching gently under his chin and he found himself unable to do anything but tilt his head upwards and purr. What had he been doing, again?

"The power of love shall bring about your downfall, Team Flare! Justice will prevail! Come on, Sylvey, Miss Gobble! The fate of Kalos rests on our shoulders! Onward!"

And so, Magical Girl Augustine Sycamore, Sylvey, and Miss Gobble cleared out the Team Flare base, free the Legendary, and allow it to be captured by one of the young trainers in Augustine's handpicked group. After giving the kids all the credit and throwing a parade in their honour, Magical Girl Augustine Sycamore, Sylvey, and Miss Gobble, with Lysandre the Litleo (grumpily) accompanying them, went journeying across the Kalos region fighting evil by moonlight and waiting for the day when Lysandre would finally find the way to break the spell and gain the ability to change back into his human form.

To be continued…(maybe)


End file.
